When I was a young girl, someone gave me a very small solid of perfume.
I think that it might have been my great grandmother who brought it back from a trip to Hawaii.
She had lost her husband before I was born and traveled extensively in her later life. Quite an independent, adventuresome woman for her time. She had amazing style – dressed impeccably and decorated her Texas apartment with an elegance that was unique.
I was very young – maybe 5 years old. But I loved it. I was both a girlie girl and a Tomboy from day one, though I outwardly presented only as the former, and eventually, sadly, the Tomboy in me was abandoned by me in order to fit in/gain acceptance.
The perfume smelled like tropical smells – I think Gardenia was very much in the forefront.
It came in a small round plastic case the color if the Seafoam Green Crayon – remember that? I loved that too. That color only came in the 64 crayon size box – it seemed so luxurious, that crayon.
So it felt very grown up and special to have that perfume.
My grandmother was charismatic and quite the lady. I loved and feared her: she was very invested in etiquette and manners. She called me wiggle Worm. I guess I was naturally filled with vibrant impulses. She was the start of my socialization, and I learned to suppress that energy, to strive poise.
Eventually, the solid ran down until only the case was left, which eventually I lost.
But over the years, and to this day, I recall that smell. Intermittently, I have tried to find it again. I’ve longed for that scent, the exotic smell of far away tropical paradise.
I recently found a scent that is the closest I have come so far. It is not exact, but close.
I still hope to find the original again someday.
Perhaps I am looking to claim that half-girl, half-boy I was. To reclaim that vibrancy, those physical impulses.
Perhaps on a trip to Hawaii I will find it again? And those parts of myself? Wouldn’t that be amazing.
What has been a significant scent in your life? Why?
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