Attraction

Word for the Year

Aside ~ ~ lifeontheskinnybranches ~ 5 Comments

It is that time again. Time to choose a word for the year.

I began this process a few years ago, and it has become a personal tradition.

It is essentially finding a word (or words) that represent a theme for the year ahead. It can be a reminder. It can become a kind of anchor or guide. Something you are calling in. Something you are exploring. Expanding or growing into.

There are many ways to do it. Get creative. Have fun. Make your own.

I was introduced to this and still follow Susannah Conway’s way through. If you have not been introduced to her wonderful offerings, check her out. She generously makes them available for free! Go to Find Your Word for 2019.

I am taking my time. I have not chosen yet. And after I choose, I will write in the sand on the beach and let the waves wash it into the future.

Last year I had a slew of words! (I could not settle on just one.)

Daring Greatly/Stretch/Curious/Creative/Depth/Credibility/Courage

Guess what? My year was filled with exactly those. I look at those words and feel them residing in my core. I know them intimately.

I cannot wait to see what word I choose for 2019. (Or will it choose me?)

What word will be yours for the year ahead?

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Unexpected Turns

Aside ~ ~ lifeontheskinnybranches ~ 7 Comments

I just discovered that I love directing!

This is after a lifelong love of acting.

I had never even considered directing. Always thought I didn’t have the brain for it.

(And who knows, maybe I don’t.)

But a fellow actress recently asked me to direct her in a one woman monologue play, and though I hesitated at first, something in me wanted to.

That part was almost drowned out by the voices that said what was I thinking? Who am I? I’ve no formal experience directing.

(Never mind decades of being directed, studying theatre and acting. Never mind helping fellow actors countless times stage and work on their auditions over those decades.)

But somewhere in the midst of the cacophony of negative voices, I felt a curiosity, an interest in the play, an interest in the actress who asked.

And so I said yes.

And it turns out, I am loving it.

Now, I have no intention of stopping acting.

But.

I want to continue exploring this new perspective within acting alongside my acting pursuits.

I want to do more directing!

Who knew?

(I’m so glad I listened to that quiet little voice.)

The Long and Winding Road

Aside ~ ~ lifeontheskinnybranches ~ 7 Comments

I love to meander. Either literally or figuratively. In my mind, telling a story or on my feet, I find it so gratifying.

Not always so for others. My husband can be driven a bit crazy by my sometimes long and winding way of coming to the point of a story, for example.

I get it. I love straight lines too. There a times I get to the point! Indeed!

Give me a route, I love to follow the way.

But to let that all go: plans, destinations, paths, pre-determined places to end up or problems to solve by this deadline or that…

To simply go where the wind blows me. To follow my nose. To follow clues.

To listen to the guide from within as old as the sea urging me this way or that.

This is how I find the best places. This is how I end up living the most “perfect” days. (Rarely the days I painstakingly plan.)

To sit and let my mind go from association to association, knowing that nothing is crucial but it is all valuable and each morsel may lead to something wonderful.

That is where my creativity comes alive, in the seemingly random twists and turns of consciousness as they dip into the collective unconscious.

Yes, I am a fan of meandering. As long as it is not in the Internet. That is the one place I am best served by staying to a clear intention and boundaries. Meandering there, I usually end up with regret and an emotional hangover.

But a day like today, meandering about Cape Cod. Priceless. Nourishing. Awesome.

Inspired by The Daily Post Daily Word Prompt: meander

My Shoes Part 2

Aside ~ ~ lifeontheskinnybranches ~ Leave a comment

I felt excited to go out into the world.

Then I dreaded leaving my house.

I gave myself a stern lecture.

Then I sweet talked myself into getting ready.

Then I dreaded like holy hell leaving my house.

So I shoved myself out into the world.

Then I wanted to go home so badly.

Then I was glad to be out in the world.

Then I couldn’t wait to get home again.

I finally got home.

And I felt like I had missed something important.

Hollowed Halls

Aside ~ ~ lifeontheskinnybranches ~ 11 Comments

I felt the tickle of a trickle of sweat run down under my arm as I waited just beyond the corner past his locker. My mouth was dry, my heart pounding.

It was now or never.

I had to have a date for the dance coming up next weekend, and he was the only boy I could think of to ask.

He was a Kicker, not in the Popular league, so more within my reach. (Me definitely not being in the Popular League or anywhere near it.)

We got along okay, I thought. I sat behind him in history and sometimes we exchanged a few words. He at least saw me. I made him laugh once with my impromptu impression of the teacher.

I spotted his cowboy hat and forced myself to call his name, my heart suddenly full of hope. He turned and came over my way. I felt like my whole life was about to change.

My words tripped over my tongue and landed between us with a clumsy thud, but he got the gist.

He paused for what seemed a lifetime. My heart sank in the silence.

“Nope, I have to say no. But don’t feel bad. I wouldn’t say yes to a dance, not even if you was Susie Moore.”

Susie Moore was hands down the most popular girl in school. She was everything I was not: pretty, petite, outgoing, a cheerleader, funny.

I laugh a curt, self-derisive laugh and say “Oh yeah, of course!” a little too brightly, a little too pushed.

I walk away, my hope around my ankles, the taste of recognition of my non-Susie Mooreness bitter in my mouth. I’d known it already, but having it stated to your face is a whole different ball of wax. Especially from the mouth of your major crush.

Never again, I vow silently to myself. Never. Again.

Inspired by The Daily Post Daily Word Prompt: popular

I read my writing for the first time in a public forum today. It was amazing to share my words live, and to experience the other writer’s works.

Because I was so involved with that, I thought I’d repost Old Baggage for today’s word prompt, but this came to me instead. 34 years later and I still feel the sting. Isn’t it amazing? How intense our early experiences can be?