Eyes Wide Shut

For the gathousandth time

I look in my own eyes

Searching for a glimpse of her

The girl I was

All I see is shadowy pain

Dimmed promise

Blighted hope

Battered belief

I search still

Who is left in there

Whose pain is being reflected

Whose fatigue

Whose caution and fear

If eyes are the window to the soul

It’s time to move


I share my posts on Alan’s site

Stone Portal

I cannot focus, the dark is too thick

Just hear loud, indecipherable sounds

I’m lost and can’t find my way

Overbearing, foreign smells fill my nostrils

Earth, feces, sweat and fear

My own heartbeat and jagged breath

I feel the air in front of my body

Searching for a soft place to hide

I stumble, hurled through darkness

Falling a mile, aging a year, before I land

Sharp pain, hard crags of cool stone, my head explodes

I want to just lay down

Something warm oozes from my mouth

A bed of stony rock seems a fitting cradle

To pass me through to the other side


A thorny crown of my own making

Embedded in my righteous mind

I no longer feel the pain

You cut the wood, laid it at my feet

But the cross I bear I made myself

My tears became the stain

These things are woven into

The life and form I take today

Don’t know how to cut them out

Can I survive their extrication

Or am I Siamese with myself

Forever connected, inextricably devout

Inspired by The Daily Post Daily Word Prompt: thorny