Tropical Sense

When I was a young girl, someone gave me a very small solid of perfume.

I think that it might have been my great grandmother who brought it back from a trip to Hawaii.

She had lost her husband before I was born and traveled extensively in her later life. Quite an independent, adventuresome woman for her time. She had amazing style – dressed impeccably and decorated her Texas apartment with an elegance that was unique.

I was very young – maybe 5 years old. But I loved it. I was both a girlie girl and a Tomboy from day one, though I outwardly presented only as the former, and eventually, sadly, the Tomboy in me was abandoned by me in order to fit in/gain acceptance.

The perfume smelled like tropical smells – I think Gardenia was very much in the forefront.

It came in a small round plastic case the color if the Seafoam Green Crayon – remember that? I loved that too. That color only came in the 64 crayon size box – it seemed so luxurious, that crayon.

So it felt very grown up and special to have that perfume.

My grandmother was charismatic and quite the lady. I loved and feared her: she was very invested in etiquette and manners. She called me wiggle Worm. I guess I was naturally filled with vibrant impulses. She was the start of my socialization, and I learned to suppress that energy, to strive poise.

Eventually, the solid ran down until only the case was left, which eventually I lost.

But over the years, and to this day, I recall that smell. Intermittently, I have tried to find it again. I’ve longed for that scent, the exotic smell of far away tropical paradise.

I recently found a scent that is the closest I have come so far. It is not exact, but close.

I still hope to find the original again someday.

Perhaps I am looking to claim that half-girl, half-boy I was. To reclaim that vibrancy, those physical impulses.

Perhaps on a trip to Hawaii I will find it again? And those parts of myself? Wouldn’t that be amazing.

What has been a significant scent in your life? Why?

I share my posts here.

Mirror Image

If you were to juxtapose my insides with my outsides

You would be in for a real surprise

Does everyone feel so at odds with oneself

Or can some see  and know themselves with their own eyes

Or do they, like me, feel disparate and lost

Can they not seem to match their within from without

Do they also look in the mirror and not recognize

The person they see who is looking out

Inspired by The Daily Post Word Prompt: juxtapose

Mistaken Identity

I thought I was broken, thought I was missing

Thought parts of me had just died

Made friends with the holes that I thought you’d made

Made peace with what was left inside

 

Turns out I was wrong, nothing of me was gone

Certain parts just learned how to hide

I am whole, I am thriving, I am filled with myself

And that truth just cannot be denied

 

Inspired by The Daily Post Daily Word Prompt: identity