Note to Self

I’m in awe of you

Of your courage

The capacity of your heart to forgive

Your continual willingness to try no matter what

Your full-hearted commitment to living your truth

Your love of life that always manages to overcome your darkness

Your never- ending spirit in the face of despair

I am in awe of you

You are my hero

Inspired by The Daily Post Word Prompt: awe

Constant Companion

A hunger, an appetite

For more of what, I do not know

Resides inside me all the time

Tells me how to feel, where to go

Will fight hard to get what’s mine

Begrudges others getting theirs

I try to feed it, it just wants more

It doesn’t trust that I am there

And so I love her anyway, since, after all, she’s mine

I try to guide her, try to soothe her

I accept her enormous need

I take her hand and sing her songs

And hope that one day, she’ll be freed

Inspired by The Daily Post Word Prompt: companion

Shallow Depths*

Deep within

There is a certain part of me

Who stills believes

Life would be so much better

If I’d been born beautiful:

A super model, a movie star

Shallow, I know,

But that part of me’s convinced

Nothing sways her

She doesn’t care that you

Can’t cherrypick and you’d get

All their shit too (and that we all have shit)

She is absolutely sure

To be adored for your looks

Would beat the rest

That being loved for a face or body

Is more than enough for her

And she won’t hear otherwise

This part of me

Would make a deal with a thousand devils

It would sell my soul

For the chance to find out

If life really is better for the super stars and models

I’ve given up trying

To win her over to Self-Love Land

She cannot comprehend adult logic

So I hold her hand

And I say “I hear you,” then lead her into the deeper waters to play

Repost Inspired by The Daily Post Word Prompt: famous

* I am visiting my hometown, and of course, all my “old stuff” is stirred up as if I was right back in high school, feeling so lacking. Back to a time when I based my whole self worth on my appearance. To a time I prayed to become famous so that one day everyone would regret rejecting me. It is amazing how quickly it all comes flooding back.

(Thanks to you)

I have been operating under the following assumptions:

That I am plain, average and dull

That I am unmemorable, forgettable

That to surrender to pleasure is a death sentence

That love becomes humiliation overnight

That vulnerability ends in shame

But I am finally reframing these beliefs

I am choosing to find new truths:

I am lovely, unique and vibrant

I am memorable, unforgettable

Pleasure is safe and begets more pleasure

Love always elevates and is never wrong or cruel

Vulnerability is my birthright and there is no shame in it ever

So you see, I got this

(No thanks to you, btw)

Inspired by The Daily Post Daily Word Prompt: assumption

Lost Treasure

All that I held dear

Was washed away

By the tsunami that was you

My heart, my mental health

My easy laugh, my joy

My positive outlook

My belief in goodness

My trust in my own body

My trust in my own soul

The winds have long since died down

My body has healed from the twists and turns she rode

I sit in the quiet aftermath

And wait to see what of me

The tide will wash ashore

Will I recognize my essential parts

Or will I pass them by as detritus

Not knowing their inherent value

Inspired by The Daily Post Daily Word Prompt: tide

Cancellation Policy

Allow me to return

All that you bestowed upon me

Including, but not limited to

A cautious nature

Fear of people

Embarrassment at being seen in my enthusiasm

The tendency to be cynical

Body self-consciousness

Shame

Self-doubt

Feel free to do what you will with these

I no longer wish to live from them

They were never mine to begin with

Inspired by The Daily Post Daily Word Prompt: bestow

Soul Sister

I feel you there

In a parallel Universe

The me that I haven’t lived up to in this one

Did you steal away my confidence

Maybe took more than your share

Do you laugh easily

And let harsh words roll off of your back

While I am still guarded after all these years trying not to be

And take everything people say to heart

Can we meet somewhere in-between our two worlds

What separates two parallels

Have an equal exchange

I’ll give you some of my excess

There must be something I’ve got that you want

Inspired by The Daily Post Daily Word Post: parallel