Spring Break

“Yeah, typical,” she said to no one in particular, as she entered the last room of her day that needed cleaning to find it looking as if it had been ransacked by the CIA, fallen victim to yet another collegiate tsunami.

As she surveyed the wreckage, she knew that she’d never be done in time to make her class at the local community college.

“If only,” she said, shaking her head, as visions of somehow wreaking havoc on those who so thoughtlessly tore through her hometown every March ignited enough of an impetus to begin the work necessary to restore the room to occupancy.

Inspired by The Daily Post Word Prompt: typical

Responsibrellaty

“Allow me to offer my observations from my assay of the umbrella etiquette out here on the New York City Streets,” she said sardonically to no one in particular and everyone at once.

“None of you know how to navigate with this appendage. Work with me people!!”

And with that, she resolutely pressed her lips together and set back out into the treacherous sea of weaponry her fellow urban dwellers were unconsciously wielding, a lone champion amongst the heathens.

Inspired by The Daily Post Daily Word Prompt: assay

Coin Incidence

“I really sympathize with you,” she said to no one in particular, the sarcasm dripping almost as low as the unlit Virginia Slims that teeter-tottered off her crimson-painted lips, as she scooped up the three cents’ change meant as her tip from the couple who’d sat at one of her best window tables for the better part of the evening, drinking top shelf gin martinis, holding out until the owner had to flicker the lights to get them to rouse themselves.

She’d expected that they’d leave a decent tip for tying up her table, but alas, the man had mumbled something lame about having thought he’d had more cash on him before lamely leaving $40 for the $39.97 bill.

With a shake of her head, she threw the pennies into the penny cup by the register and went out back to light her cigarette and further contemplate mankind.

Inspired by The Daily Word Prompt: sympathize

Pumped

“Allow me to offer my most profuse apologies…not!” Frank shouted after the big, black Buick as it pulled away from the station.

He began to chuckle at his own cleverness, eventually cracking himself up, riding its euphoric wave before degenerating into a coughing jag which felt like karmic payback.

And just like that, he clammed up again to his usual monosyllabic existence at the pump.

Inspired by The Daily Post Daily Word Prompt: profuse

Passing Attendance

“I got my trill, on Blueberry Hill,” she spoke-sang under her breath before going into a fit of giggles that took her an unexpectedly long time to recover from, almost three vehicles going through the toll.

All this in response to voice of the driver of an old, long, black Cadillac whose purply-blue hued hair was rivaled only by the vibrating lilt of her sung “Have a nice day!” after she slowed to hand her $1.75 in coins to Jeannetta’s gloved outstretched hand.

It was moments like this that kept her job interesting, and she shook her head in awed appreciation before returning her attention to her half-eaten baloney sandwich.

Inspired by The Daily Post Daily Word Prompt: trill

Herbal Reverie

“Allow me to speak candidly,” she said with earnestness to no one in particular before finding herself poised halfway between the kitchen and the veranda staring out the window.

And just like that, the realization that had prompted the remark in the first place drifted out of her consciousness and on to wherever such realizations go when unattended.

And so it was that she sat down once again to a cup of camomile tea and a romance novel to while away a long day’s afternoon.

Inspired by The Daily Word Prompt: candid

Snubbed

“As if,” she said to no one in particular, never entertaining for one second that she would try even one of Bitsy Devoe’s shortbread sweets as they were passed by on delicately-doilied silver trays by somber, tight-lipped staff in impossibly-starched black uniforms.

Bitsy had conveniently forgotten that the recipe that she was now widely known for had actually been hers once upon a time, given innocently and generously on loan, for goodness sakes, for an event for which Bitsy’s originally-planned recipe had miserably failed, and for which Bitsy had since become quite famous for making.

As if to punctuate her resentment, she put her cigarette out in vase of delphiniums that sat on the foyer table, and with a wry smile of self-approval, proceeded back to the bar area to partake of a third Gin Gimlet.

Inspired by The Daily Word Prompt: entertain

Post-Truth Confessions

“Brilliant, just brilliant,” she said to no one in particular as she heard the sickening metallic sound of the car’s right front shank as it scraped along the cement wall that she had tried to avoid having to drive by in the first place.

Had it not been for the annoying oversized truck that had stopped just before the exit, blocking it, she’d never have taken the sharply curved driveway leading out of the parking garage at such a fast pace.

She didn’t stop to survey the damage – what was done was done – but as she drove off, she quickly began thinking of scenarios (other than her own road rage) that might help her husband take the news more easily.

Inspired by The Daily Word Prompt: brilliant

New Year’s Resolutions

“Winsome, I am not,” she said through gritted teeth to no one in particular as she sucked in a third time and desperately tried to pull her usual size 6 jeans’ zipper up.

Sadly, it would not go past halfway, and she was left with the sinking-in reality that she had indeed put on some weight around her hips over the holidays despite her best efforts to be mindful of her sweets and alcohol intake.

She peeled off the betraying jeans with a few choice swear words, leaving them in a pile, and dejectedly put on her comfy sweat pants vowing not to eat again until those GD jeans fit.

Inspired by The Daily Post Daily Word Prompt: winsome

Soup Stock

“Yeah, that’s right. I’m allergic to you,” she muttered under her breath to no one in particular as she watched Phil Peters walk away from the water cooler in order to catch up to the passing ample sway of Georgina Johnson’s hips – which always seemed to be in some kind of competition with her tight knit skirts for space.

She continued to appear very involved in stirring the Cup-a-Soup she had just filled with hot water but inside her heart plummeted several stories to its usual bed of disappointment and resentment as she once again caught her own narrow, rather restrained-looking hips from the corner of her eye.

And upon hearing the annoying tinkle of Georgina’s thin, high-pitched laugh – the laugh she only pulled out for unsuspecting admirers – she turned her back to them both and made a beleaguered beeline for her desk.

 

Inspired by The Daily Word prompt: allergic